Thursday, March 3, 2011

Apollo

Today is a sad day.


Apollo is our wonderful standard poodle that came into our lives a few months after Mike and I were married. He's an amazing dog.


The sad part? His life is pretty non-existent at this point. Our lives have changed so much over the last few years, and Apollo's life has gotten really bad. He's alone almost all of the time, he can't go outside without us letting him out, and his days are spent in a 500sf space. The girls get mad at him all the time because his mouth is right at face level and he likes to lick, they don't like playing with him because he's big and knocks them down, and he's gotten to the point where he just goes and lays in the corner alone. 


It devastates me...but I know this is the kind thing to do. His new life will include lots of dogs, constant companionship, playing at the river, swimming, spending lots of time on a house boat...I think it's going to be doggy heaven and he's NEVER going to look back.


The best part? He's going to live with our friend. He won't be out of our lives...and he won't be far away.


But I can't help being so sad about it...it's actually a bit hard to type through the tears right now. It almost feels like I've failed him in some way. I KNOW this is the most generous and self-less thing I can do for him, but with all the unbelievable stress and change in our lives, and all the responsibilities that have been heaped on my shoulders, I just feel like he's been lost in the whole thing. It's just not fair to him. Our life isn't going to get any easier any time soon and as a result, neither is his. In fact, I think it will get worse for him as the girls get older and busier.


In a weird way, I'm kinda looking forward to one less responsibility...one less thing to worry about...one less thing to feel guilty about...  And that makes me feel even sadder and guiltier. I just think it will take time for me to heal.


I'll miss him...but the girls don't care. Zoe was singing, "Yeah, Apollo gets a new home tomorrow!" and Ava decided that without Apollo she can now go to Chuck E Cheese's. They're young...they see him as a nuisance. I don't. I see him as an amazing dog who happened into the wrong family at the wrong time.


So...it's time to give him his life back. 


Love you Apollo...run, play, and bark like crazy!!!







Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Doctors...UGH!!!

I called the doctor today to check in on Ava's labwork. Her hematologist is out of town for 3 weeks (of course), so I talked with her partner.


Ava's bloodwork from last week (before going on canned formula) showed improvement. Her ferritin level (iron) was almost normal and her RBCs were bigger. Remember...I was supplementing her with ALOT of iron every day during the later part of December and most of January.


It proved to us that she IS able to absorb iron and the doctor now wants me to continue doing the iron supplementation while she's on the canned formula.


So here's my problem...she was on the canned formula so that we could get a baseline of her blood levels in a controlled setting with controlled "nutrition". If I'm going to add the iron drops, how does that work?


Remind me why she's on canned formula and not REAL food again?



Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The strangest thing happened....

Ava's canned g-tube formula came today and it was the weirdest thing ...


I gave her half of a normal feeding and....nothing happened! She didn't keel over and die. I didn't drop dead of a heart attack from feeding it to her. There were no locust and I don't think all the fish in the seas are dying. It was REALLY odd! I wasn't even struck by lightening for doing it.


Hmmmm.....not sure what to make of it all.


Let's just hope there's no vomiting...